


And I'm just about to lose my mind

by jenny_wren



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2167134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenny_wren/pseuds/jenny_wren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow the rumor mill always seems to know more about Leonard's love-life than he does himself</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I'm just about to lose my mind

**Author's Note:**

> This was a buckle-up kink meme prompt for something like 'rumors circulate regarding Dr McCoy and the new Medivac pilot'

Leonard returns from dropping off JoJo after their Saturday morning together and walks straight into an ambush of curious looks. His shift’s barely begun and he’s overheard several conversations starting, “McCoy? Really? I’d have never have thought it of him,” that tail off as soon as they spot him.

It’s all giving him uncomfortable flashbacks to his divorce when he was the hot topic of conversation for weeks. This time though the looks aren’t all disapproving or pitying, one of the nurses actually shoots him a discreet thumbs up.

Leonard hides himself away behind the permanently broken vending machine and takes deep breaths.

A clatter of interns comes in, and one of the girls says,

“Did you hear about McCoy?”

“Oh yeah,” leers one of the boys, “who’d have thought the old man had it in him.”

“Makes sense to me,” says another girl, “McCoy’s smoking hot. Only logical that if his wife was pursuing other options, he would too.”

“And he’s too classy a guy to broadcast it all over town like his ex.”

This is not helping Leonard recover his breath at all, and he is enormously thankful when somebody important clears the interns away. He slides down the wall and presses his head against his knees. At this moment he hates the whole town with a fiery passion, if it wasn’t for JoJo he’d run off and join the French Foreign Legion or something. If the French Foreign Legion still exists.

“Does the French Foreign Legion still exist?”

M’Benga looks at him like his gone crazy. “Why on Earth are you asking me that?”

Leonard glares daggers across the patient notes. “How can I run away and join the French Foreign Legion if it doesn’t still exist?”

M’Benga laughs at him. “Honestly Leonard, you must have know the news would break some time.” His grin turns sly, “And isn’t a bit hard on your young man to take off now, when he’s just moved clear across the country to be with you.”

“Geoff!” M’Benga was the one pulling him out of bars when his marriage disintegrated. If anyone should know there was no one else for Leonard it would be him.

“Aw come on Len. So they’ve back-dated your grand romance a bit, who cares? Isn’t it better they think that when your wife left you your significant other was a hot pilot, and seriously Len, he’s scorching hot, how ever did you catch him? rather than a germ culture. Granted it was a very pretty germ culture, but I think your pilot just edges ahead in the attractiveness stakes in most people’s eyes.”

The rumor mill’s ensnared M’Benga too. Leonard waves his hands through the air in exasperation, “How is this happening to me? I’ve never even seen that pilot before today.”

“Pull the other one Len. We all saw you talking to him. And by talking I mean eyefucking. I thought we were going to have to call the fire department out for a case of spontaneous combustion. I would have thought you’d have learned from Jocelyn not to let too long go between seeing each other, as in seeing to each other.” M’Benga sniggers.

Leonard sticks his fingers in his ears. “I can’t hear you, and goddamnit, I hate you Geoff.”

M’Benga slaps him on the back and heads off, no doubt to spread more crazy rumors.

Leonard goes back to hiding behind the vending machine.

 

“Len! You in here,” yells Chapel.

“No!” he yells back, not moving from his slump.

Chapel ignores him, and drags him forcibly from his hidey-hole.

“This is undignified,” he protests feebly.

“If you would just man up, I wouldn’t have to do it. Your pilot’s coming off shift right now and you are going to go and welcome him properly, no more treating him like a dirty little secret. I am not letting you screw this up Len.”

“There is no secret. Dirty or otherwise.”

“Good. Then you’ll have no trouble introducing him to us all, instead of letting him slink in on his own like you’re ashamed of him.”

_God or whoever,_ Leonard prays, _I would never ask for a genuine emergency, but would a false alarm be too much to ask for right now._

Chapel keeps towing him along.

Leonard has no idea how his life came to this. He’s a good, well goodish, guy, he let his wife have a nice no-fault divorce, they share custody relatively amicably, despite gross temptation he has not yet broken his wife’s new husband’s jaw; how has the grapevine suddenly decided he is having a raging affair with a hot pilot?

The saddest thing is that Jim, the pilot in question, _is_ hot, and funny, and kind, and all-round attractive. Leonard was actually enjoying flirting with him while he waited for Jocelyn to arrive with JoJo. (There was some very mild flirting going on, he will admit that, but Jim was just passing the time while he hung around for his paperwork to be completed.) For the first time since his divorce Leonard had met somebody he’d like to see more of and he’d been trying to exercise his atrophied dating muscles and maybe work up to asking Jim to grab a coffee or something, with the bribe of showing the new-to-town Jim around.

That’s all blown to hell now, of course. They’ll be lucky if Jim doesn’t run screaming from town in horror. Hell, Leonard wants to run screaming from town in horror, he certainly won’t blame Jim if he actually does.

Leonard cannot see anything in their future except massive embarrassment for all concerned. Jim is going to avoid him like the plague for the rest of his undoubtedly short time at the hospital, before transferring out of town as soon as possible, after which Leonard will never see him again.

He’s surprised to find he minds this rather a lot. He honestly likes Jim. It’s not fair.

Chapel stops. “Good Christ Leonard, you are actually worried about this.”

“Umph,” says Leonard, because yes, he needs to explain everyone has got the wrong end of the stick and have in actual fact picked up the wrong stick entirely, but he has absolutely no idea how to go about it.

“Wait a minute. Is _he_ the one who’s ashamed of this?” There’s a militant sparkle in her eyes as she shoves her shirt sleeves up her arms.

“No, no,” Leonard bleats, because the only way this could get worse would be Chapel laying into Jim for not treating Leonard right.

“Well good. I figured you were the one being an idiot.” She resumes hauling him along.

Leonard gives up then. He lived down his divorce, and that nearly broke him, he can live down this colossal fuckup too. If it wasn’t going to cost him a chance with the first person he’d been attracted to since his divorce, he’d probably find it funny.

He trails miserably after Chapel.

 

There’s quite a crowd gathered at the Media centre. Apparently, and Leonard has no idea how he knows this except through osmosis, Jim is up in the Medivac chopper, proving he can actually fly.

“He’s a pilot, of course he can fly,” says Leonard, despairing that anything will ever make sense again.

“Calm down McCoy, we’re not casting aspersions on your boyfriend’s abilities. Just need to get him up to speed on the chopper’s quirks,” says a guy.

Leonard stares, he has no idea who in the world this guy is, how does the guy know who Leonard is.

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Because you were a weenie and didn’t introduce your boyfriend to your friends, so we get to embarrass the hell out of you. It’s in the rules,” says M’Benga heartlessly.

“Damn straight,” says Chapel. “We’ve been so worried about you.”

“Really wish you wouldn’t,” says Leonard feelingly.

“Well we wouldn’t have if we’d know you were seeing someone. Goodness gracious Len, you were actually smiling today. I thought you’d forgotten how.”

“Jim is never going to speak to me again.” In fact there’s probably a restraining order in Leonard’s future.

“Don’t be silly, he’s as smitten as you are.”

He would take comfort from that, except Chapel’s judgment is seriously in question given Leonard is _not_ smitten, honest.

The helicopter’s landing, so the dreadful anticipation part is nearly over with and they can move on to the hideous chaos. Oh joy.

“I really think I might be ill,” says Leonard. Maybe he can fake cardiac arrest. Chapel would probably kill him but at least then it would all be over.

Chapel jabs him with one boney elbow. “Stop being a wuss.”

There’s bootsteps on the stairs and the Medivac crew come bounding down laughing and joking. So Jim’s first flight must have gone well and Leonard smiles, pleased for him. Then the Medivac crew catch sight of the reception committee and come to an abrupt halt.

Jim’s eyes go wide. Jim has incredible blue, blue eyes, but they look a lot prettier when they’re not full of stunned shock.

“Sorry,” Leonard cringes. 

Jim’s face morphs into a broad smile. Leonard can see it’s fake around the edges but his knees still go a bit weak.

“Bones!” Jim glides down the stairs and right into Leonard’s personal space. When he raises his arms, Leonard braces himself for a punch, but Jim just enfolds Leonard in his arms and hugs him tight.

Leonard’s own arms come up and wrap themselves around Jim. What? It’s only polite to return a hug when one is offered.

Then Jim kisses him. 

Leonard’s knees give up the ghost completely and he clings to Jim as Jim’s tongue licks into his mouth and steals all sense and breath.

When Jim pulls back, Leonard’s embarrassing whine for more is thankfully cut off by a round of applause. 

_Hang on just one minute,_ Leonard’s brain kick-starts and it dawns on him rounds of applause are not excepted hospital activity. With dread in his heart he forces his wobbly legs to stand him beside Jim.

Yeah, it was as bad as he was thinking.

Jim must catch his tremble because he pulls him closer.

“Aww Bones,” says Jim. “Stop worrying. These are your friends. They won’t hold it against you that you found someone new before your divorce was officially finalized.”

“Oh Leonard,” Chapel sounds positively tearful, “is that what this is all about? Of course we don’t mind. We’re thrilled you found somebody new. It’s not as if Jocelyn wasn’t cheating on you for months before she even mentioned divorce.”

“And there’s the tact that makes you my favorite nurse.” The thing is though, Chapel’s comment doesn’t sting as much as it once would. Jim hanging on to him like he’s not intending to let go anytime soon is a wonderful insulation against the burn of his failed marriage.

Chapel flings her arms around his neck and half-throttles him in an enthusiastic hug.

“Control yourself woman,” Leonard orders hopelessly as she knocks him back into Jim. Jim holds them all up and laughs softly,

“And you told me it was boring living here.”

“I said no such thing,” says Leonard as he pats Chapel on the back. “I said nothing much happened around here.”

“Which is blatantly not true. I’ve only been in town twenty-four hours but, believe me, they’ve been eventful. I’ve never been threatened with being tossed out of a chopper quite so quickly before.”

“They didn’t?”

“Oh yeah. Hurting the good doctor McCoy is a definite no-no. Fortunately I had no such intentions. I just hadn’t realized our relationship was quite so longstanding.”

Chapel pulls away from Leonard and slaps Jim on the arm.

“Of course Len would count from the day you met. He’s not fast like some people.”

“I don’t know,” says Jim reflectively. “He moves pretty fast from where I’m standing.”

He winks at Leonard then, and Leonard realizes he has not stepped into some alternate universe where he actually has been having a raging affair with a hot pilot, but that Jim is for, some inexplicable reason, playing along with the general delusion that has overtaken the hospital.

Leonard preferred the alternative universe explanation, except then he’d have to go home at some point.

“Humph,” says Chapel. “Not fast enough as far as I can see. You moved clear across the country for Len, but you’re not going to live together?”

Leonard freezes up with horror, in another five minutes Chapel will have bullied Jim into moving in with him, and then what will he do.

Jim straightens up,

“Hey. Not that it is any of your business, but we would like to try living in the same town before we try living in the same house. And we wanted to give Joanna time to get used to the idea.”

It is then the miracle occurs. Chapel actually backs down, 

“Oh, that sounds very sensible.”

“I’m a sensible kinda guy.”

“That’s an outrageous lie,” squawks Leonard. There is nothing sensible about this guy at all. “You –”

“Len,” M’Benga claps him on the shoulder, “We do not need to know.”

“But,” stammers Leonard. Jim is apparently crazy-insane and – yeah okay, Jim is going to fit right in.

“We do not need to know. Now take your boyfriend off and celebrate his successful first shift.”

“I’m on for another,” Leonard checks his watch.

“No you’re not,” Chapel grins. “I rearranged for you. You’ve got more than enough holiday saved up to skip out early.”

“But,” Leonard looks hopefully at Jim but the traitor refuses to use his magical Chapel-defying powers.

“Let’s go Bones; we’ve got lots to talk about.”

Leonard winces, back to faking cardiac arrest, “I may throw up on you,” he warns.

“Move.” Jim’s arm wraps around his waist like a band of steel and they pass quickly through the crowd, dodging congratulations. Jim hustles them through the hospital and out into his car before Leonard can find a suitable objection.

Jim does his seatbelt up for him while Leonard tries not to hyperventilate.

“This is kidnapping,” he protests.

“Bones what are you talking about,” Jim makes his eyes big and shocked, “we’ve been going out for months.”

Then he kisses Leonard again.

“Oh okay, kidnap away,” says Leonard weakly when he can think again.

Jim grins and guns the engine.

 

“So,” Leonard asks finally, “is this an alternative universe where we’ve been going out for months?”

Jim laughs out loud, “No, though it does feel a bit like that.”

“So you’re just crazy then?”

“Me? You’re the one who signed us up for this. Did you at least tell them I was good in bed?”

“I, you, no, what,” Leonard sputters at the accusation. Then curiosity takes over, “Are you good in bed?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” Jim grins, wicked temptation dancing in his eyes.

Leonard mouth goes dry. Then he remembers he’s not having an affair with Jim and is never likely too. In a small voice he says,

“I really am sorry. I’ve no idea why they all went mad like that.”

Jim smiles gently at him, “Because they worry about you Bones. It’s cute.”

“Cute?”

“Cute.” Jim nods his head firmly

“And that’s why you decided to go along with it?”

“That and you’re cute. Also I’ve been on the wrong end of the rumor mill before,” Jim shivers. “It was kinda nice being at the centre of a positive storm.”

Leonard recalls then that Jim has transferred clear across the country to a town where he knows nobody.

“What happened?” he asks, worried.

Jim shrugs it off, “Just rumors you know. It doesn’t matter now.”

Leonard wants to press for more details but really, he has only known Jim for little more than a conversation. It’s going to take much longer than that before Jim will spill his secrets. Leonard’s starting to hope though that they might get their much longer and that the future might include the trading of lover’s secrets.

“You should be all for it, you know,” Jim continues, “I can pretty much guarantee your ex will stop being so pissy once the whole town stops hating her for betraying that lovely Dr McCoy and leaving him alone and miserable.”

He ignores the bit about the town hating Jocelyn because that’s just ridiculous, and concentrates on the important part,

“I was not alone and miserable.”

“No?”

“No, I had a very pretty germ culture.”

Jim does not laugh at him, which he deserves, but instead places his hand on Leonard’s knee.

“I’m a lot more decorative than a germ culture.”

“That’s what Geoff said.”

“He has good taste.”

Leonard stares at the smiling man beside him, and abruptly can’t stand it any longer.

“Why?” he wails, “I don’t understand. Even if you were worried about the gossip, surely you know I wouldn’t have let them blame you. You do know that, right?”

“It wasn’t that. It was just… I was really enjoying talking to you. It was,” his hand comes off Leonard’s knee as he grasps after an appropriate word. He settles on, “Nice,” with a slightly disgruntled twist of his lip as if the word still doesn’t really suit.

Leonard knows just what he means.

“I was completely sincere when I told the chopper crew I wasn’t fooling around. But it wasn’t until I saw the reception committee that I realized quite what they were getting at. And then,” 

Jim stares determinedly out the windscreen, “Look my last six months have been really shitty, and it was like life had finally decided to cut me a break to me for once and well, anyone who knows me will tell you I’m an impulsive dick. We don’t have to keep it up if you don’t want to.”

“No, I mean, I don’t want to stop. I want…” _you,_ he thinks, “It will be impossibly awkward if we tell the truth. They’d probably start setting you up with the interns in apology.”

“And you wouldn’t want that.”

“No actually I wouldn’t.”

Jim’s hand drops back onto his knee, “So Dr McCoy, since your secret lover has just been spectacularly outed, fancy letting him buy you dinner?

“No way, we’ve spent too much time in public eye as it is. You’re coming to my place and I’ll order take out.”

“Why Dr McCoy,” Jim flutters his lashes with faked coyness. “Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Yes,” he says baldly, too wrung out for anything but the naked truth.

Jim laughs out loud. “You should know I don’t put out on a first date.”

“Me neither,” Leonard says quickly, because he hadn’t meant to pressurize.

“But since this is technically our reunion, I think our adoring fans would be disappointed if we didn’t.”

“Our adoring fans can go hang. Why don’t we just see how things turn out?”

“It’s not worked out badly so far,” Jim agrees, warm smile lighting up his face like the sunrise.


End file.
